Revise for Clarity Without Changing the Facts

Choose edits that clarify a draft while preserving its meaning.

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5 questions0m 0s

Learn the skill

Identify the exact problem in a sentence before revising. Replace unclear pronouns, remove repetition and keep the original event order. A stronger sentence should not invent a different story.

Worked example

'Ari told Jo that Jo's coat was wet' is clearer than 'Ari told Jo that her coat was wet' when both characters use she/her pronouns and the writer means Jo's coat.

Three stages form a revision loop: choose a focused goal, make a concrete edit, and check the effect in the text. A return arrow allows another revision. — Choose an observable revision and test whether it serves the goal; repeat when the result is not clear.

Would you believe it?

we can put the time clause first or last and still preserve the order. After the rain stopped, they crossed. They crossed after the rain stopped. Both put the stopping rain before the crossing. A different sentence shape need not create different events.

Draft and Planning Notes

Planning notes: Mara holds the map. Ellis checks the trail sign. They wait quietly. The rain stops before they cross the field. Draft: 'Mara stood beside Ellis. She held it. They waited quietly without making any sound quietly. Then they crossed the field.' Revise only to express the planning notes more clearly.

Question 1 Which revision clearly identifies the person holding the map? Ellis held the map while Mara checked the sign Mara held the map while Ellis checked the trail sign Someone held something near a sign

Question 2 Which edit removes repetition without changing meaning? They waited quietly without making any sound quietly They waited loudly They waited quietly

Question 3 Which revision preserves the stated order? After the rain stopped, they crossed the field They crossed before the rain stopped The rain never stopped

Question 4 Which revision adds an unsupported fact? Mara carried the map They crossed the field because a wolf chased them Ellis checked the trail sign

Question 5 What should the writer do after making these changes? Choose whichever version has the most words Delete every character name Reread the scene against the planning notes

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